BIBLE PASSAGE:
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for
each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.”
(1 Thessalonians 3:12)
MEDITATION:
Loneliness can have one of the greatest impacts imaginable
on a person’s thoughts, emotions and self-esteem. When we
are lonely, we feel isolated from the love of others. Feeling
loved is one of the greatest desires of everyone (including
those who will not admit it).
Ask anyone who has lost a spouse and they will tell us about
the overwhelming loneliness they feel. As followers of Jesus,
we have a responsibility to be sensitive to their feelings and
to look for ways to comfort and encourage them, and to show
them they are loved and accepted.
Without love, we feel there is a great void in our lives. This void
grows and affects our entire being – our emotions, our goals, our
attitudes, our happiness, our joy, etc. Love tells us that we have
been accepted by others, and isn’t acceptance what everyone wants?
Closely associated with love, is a desire to have others listen to us.
People have a yearning to not only be love and accepted, but to
also have someone who will listen to them (especially when they
are going through a difficult time).
Too often we think we are helping others by giving them our
advice, when their greatest need is for us to listen to them.
Our intentions are good, but we overlook the fact that when
they want our advice, they will ask for it. Having the patience
to listen is how we can show others that we are concerned about
them, love them, and want to help and encourage them. It may
not be easy, but patiently listening it is a requirement for
expressing love and concern.
A hospital chaplain gave me some good advice about visiting
people in the hospital. He said that we don’t visit to entertain
them, or tell them everything that is going on in our lives.
Instead, we visit to let them know that we care about them
and are concerned about their health.
In order to communicate our love and concern for them, we need
to listen more than we talk. He told me the best way to do that is
to ask questions like,
“How are you feeling?”
“Is there anything I can do for you”
And then, we are to listen intently to their replies.
He also warned about saying things like,
“I know how you feel” or
“I had a friend who had what you have, and….etc.”
The same sickness impacts people in different ways, so we
really don’t know how they feel. Also, they are not interested
in our opinions or the sicknesses of others, they just want to
know that someone cares and is concerned about them.
Lastly, he gave some great advice on arriving and leaving
when visiting someone who is sick. Before arriving he said
we should plan on spending no more than 5 minutes. Why?
Because they are there to recover and not to entertain us.
When arriving, we should never say anything like,
“I was on my way to (wherever) and thought
I would stop by to see how you are doing”
That communicates to them that our visit was secondary
to other things we were doing, and they have a need to
know that we made an effort just to visit them.
When we arrive, we should say something like,
“I wanted to see how you are doing;
is this a bad time for a visit right now?”
They appreciate our visit, but they could be expecting the
nurse to come for some procedure, or they may just need
to rest at the time. We should not be offended if they ask
us if we could come back later. Remember they are sick
and are trying to get well.
When leaving, we shouldn’t say anything like,
“I’ve got to go to (whatever),
but just wanted to check in on you”
Again, this communicates to them that our visit was
an afterthought, and not a special trip out of concern
for them (it lets them know we were thinking about them).
And we shouldn’t say anything like,
“You need to get some rest,
so I’m going to leave”
The doctors are treating them and know what they need.
Instead we should simply say,
“I’m going to go now, I’ll be glad to
do anything you need me to do”
If they want us to stay longer, they will ask us to stay.
Our world has been filled with a selfishness of primarily focusing
on ourselves, our needs, and what we have to say. Listening to
others has become a lost virtue throughout our world and it gives
Christians an opportunity to show we are different (in a good way)
when we sincerely listen to others.
We love and serve a God who patiently listens to everything we
say to Him, even though He already knows what we are going to
say. As followers of Jesus, we need to learn from Him so that we
can develop patience and become better listeners.
As believers, we should express our love for the Lord (to Him),
so we can adequately show our love for others. The Lord gives
us simple instructions for showing our love for Him:
“If you love me, keep my commands.”
(John 14:15)
At the beginning of his prayer,
Daniel encourages us to love the Lord:
I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed:
“Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps
his covenant of love with those who love him
and keep his commandments”
(Daniel 9:4)
It is important for every believer to express our love for
the Lord (to Him), so that He can express His love to others
through us. When we love the Lord supremely, then we will
develop a capacity to love others as well. The love that God
gives is not the ordinary love that we find in the world today.
When we sincerely love our neighbors, it is not with the world’s
definition of love, but it is God loving through us. We live in a
world that is focused on science, increasing knowledge, gaining
power, etc. Some of those things are not necessarily bad, but the
greatest need of the people of today, is to be loved.
ACTION:
In order to show love to others, we need to show love to God,
exercise patience, and be good listeners. How are you doing
in these three areas? Are you expressing your love to the Lord
on a regular basis?
Are you a good listener to others, or are you concentrating more
on what you plan to say? Do you exercise patience when others
are speaking, or do you complete their sentences for them, walk
away, or begin to speak before they have finished?
Some people say they interrupt, because they are afraid they
will forget what they were going to say if they wait for the
other person to finish. Think about this: if we forget what
we were going to say, it could be God’s way of keeping us
from saying something we shouldn’t say at that time.
A friend of mine died from pancreatic cancer. One of the things
many remember about him was how he would ask others to tell
him what is going on in their lives. He didn’t ask just to fill the
silence with conversation, he was genuinely interested in others
and their lives.
Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your covenant of love.
Thank You for patiently listening to me when I pray. Help
me to see my own faults when I am interacting with others.
Teach me to be a better listener and to exercise patience so
Your love can flow through me to others. Remind me that
when I am selfishly focused on myself, I am preventing
others from knowing of my love for them. Teach me how
to live a life that shows my love for You, so that others
will appreciate Your love for them, and understand that
I genuinely love them as well.”
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