WHEN SHOULD WE FORGIVE OTHERS, AND WHEN SHOULD WE NOT FORGIVE?

SCRIPTURE:
Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression 
of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever 
but delight to show mercy. 
(Micah 7:18)

MEDITATION:
How often have you heard someone say, 
“I am mad and I am never going to forgive the other person for what they did!”?
Maybe you have even felt that way yourself.
We do that because we have our own set of standards and whenever someone 
violates those guidelines, our selfishness “kicks in” and we become angry.

We can do that because we have 
failed to learn from the scriptures that it is not ‘all about us’.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, 
in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests 
but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

The scriptures are clear about our actions and attitudes.
If we belong to the Lord, then we should replace selfishness and conceit 
with humility and concern for others.
When we follow those instructions, we will discover that we have 
the capability to avoid becoming angry, and the capacity to forgive.

Countless families have estranged members 
because someone has felt offended and has refused to show forgiveness.
And it seems that in many cases, the ones who should be most inclined 
to forgive (the parents) are the ones who hold the grudges the longest.
More than likely their children 
would welcome a restoration of their relationship, 
if only their parents would show love, take the initiative, and forgive.

Aren’t you glad that our Heavenly Father shows mercy 
and does not remain angry with us for the times we offend Him?
Imagine what little hope we would have if He stayed angry 
and refused to forgive His children when we disappoint Him.

But He is not like that, His love is too great!
He established the guidelines for those who have 
truly surrendered their lives to Him and want to be more like Jesus.
To follow the Lord, we need to become more like the Lord.
When we do, we will know the answer to the question is: FORGIVE AT ALL TIMES.

ACTION:
Are you harboring anger or grudges in your heart?
Have you failed to bridge the gap between you and another family member?
If you truly want to restore the relationship 
but have decided that it is not your place to show forgiveness, 
what makes you think the other person will?
One of you has to forgive as the Lord does, and if you are the parent, you 
are the one expected to show maturity and set an example for your children.

You may say that other people cannot understand 
the level of hurt they imposed on you and if they did, 
then they would not want to show forgiveness either.
Honestly, can your hurt be any greater than the hurt God felt 
when He saw your sins nailing Jesus to the tree to suffer for you?
And yet, He forgave you!

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, You have shown me Your expectations of me regarding 
anger and forgiveness. Help me to follow Your example and strive to 
become more like Jesus. If I am holding a grudge, failing to forgive 
and withholding love from another, help me to replace my selfishness 
with love and concern for others. I realize that when I fail to forgive, 
it is because my pride has been bruised. Remind me that arrogant pride 
is not what You expect of me, and egotism is a manifestation of my 
selfishness. Thank You for not remaining angry with me, but forgiving me 
for the times I have failed You. How merciful You are, almighty God. Help 
me to delight in showing this same mercy toward others.”