HOW SHOULD WE HANDLE DIFFICULT FAMILY SITUATIONS?

BIBLE PASSAGE:
Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he
and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard
about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out
of his mind.”
(Mark 3:20-21)

MEDITATION:
Have you ever wondered if there is anything in the Bible that deals
with difficult family relationships? There is an account of Jesus
having difficulties within His own family. But do you know how
Jesus handled it – He brought peace to a tumultuous situation.

His family didn’t fully appreciate Jesus for who He is. His brothers
thought He was a lunatic (“out of his mind”). Instead of being proud
of Him, they were embarrassed by His actions.

How did Jesus respond to this situation?
    He didn’t disown His brothers.
    He didn’t try to control his family’s behavior.
    He didn’t let their behavior control His behavior.
    He didn’t demand that they agree with Him.
    He didn’t pout or show anger when they insulted him.
    He didn’t replace His mission to please His Heavenly
    Father, with one of trying to please His brothers.

Jesus didn’t try to force His brothers to share His convictions;
He loved them too much to try to force them to love Him. Jesus
trusted His Father to resolve the problem while He continued
doing what God had called Him to do, and loved His brothers
through the turmoil.

When Jesus’ brothers didn’t share his convictions, He didn’t try
to force them to be like Him, or to love Him in the same way He
loved them. He knew that His spiritual family (including His
Heavenly Father) would be there for Him, even if His physical
family was not.

Jesus had a description of those He considers His family members.
    “My true brother and sister and mother
       are those who do what God wants”
       (Mark 3:35)

We can assume that Jesus wanted His family’s approval, but He was
not going to allow His disappointment to change His calling from God.
Jesus remained committed to the mission He had been given by His
Father, even when His brothers were not encouraging Him.

How did His approach work out? As we would expect, it worked out great!
    “Then the apostles returned to Jerusalem from the hill
       called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day’s walk from
       the city…They all continued praying together with some
       women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, and Jesus’
       brothers”
       (Acts 1:12, 14)
His brothers once mocked Him, but now they worshipped Him. His
brothers once questioned His sanity, but now they prayed for Him.

This is the result of the approach by Jesus to give them their space,
give them some time, show them grace, exercise patience, continue
with His mission and trust His Heavenly Father. Jesus showed us
how to deal with difficult family situations the right way rather
than trying to ‘fix’ everything Himself.

Look at the additional results of His approach. In Galatians,
Paul mentioned that one of His brothers became an apostle.
    Then after three years, I went up to Jerusalem to
    get acquainted with Cephas and stayed with him
    fifteen days. I saw none of the other apostles-only
    James, the Lord’s brother.
    (Galatians 1:18-19)

In 1 Corinthians, when Paul was defending his rights as an apostle, he
spoke of the brothers of Jesus along with Cephas (Peter) and the other
apostles (possibly indicating that Jesus’ brothers had become apostles).
    Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife
    along with us, as do the other apostles and the
    Lord’s brothers and Cephas?
    (1 Corinthians 9:5)

ACTION:
We would love to have our family’s approval on everything we do, but
it isn’t always achievable. It would be great if every family was similar
to the Cleaver family, but the truth is, that was a television family that
appeared to be ideal.

If Jesus didn’t force his family to share in His convictions, as followers
of Him, we shouldn’t try to force ours either. There are times when we
need to allow the Lord to do His work and stop trying to usurp what is
considered His area of authority.

God changed families when Jesus walked the earth in human form
and He still changes families today. Instead of wasting our time and
increasing our frustrations by trying to change them, we need to
respond as Jesus did by allowing our omnipotent Father to change
them. However, there is a glaring difference between Jesus and us.

Jesus was perfect and we are not. In the process of resolving
family issues, God may include changing us as well. We may
have some blind spots that contribute to family issues and out
of His love for us and the family unit, God may need to make
us aware of our own failures so He can change us too. We need
to listen closely to what others are saying about us…it might be
God’s way of pointing out things in us that need to be changed.

Questions to consider:
    – How do I react to family issues?
    – Do I only look outwardly and not inwardly?
    – Do I consider that I might be contributing to the issues?
    – Do I spend time praying for my family members
       and trust God to resolve the issues?
    – Do I allow any issues to damage or reduce my love for my family?
    – How is my relationship with the Lord affected by family issues?
    – Do I allow frustration or emotional upheaval to discourage
       or cause me to stop doing what God has called me to do?

Pray
“Heavenly Father, I am thankful that nothing escapes You.
Whenever there is difficulty in my family, You know it. You
also know how to change the hearts of people. Forgive me
if I have gotten in Your way by trying to force a change in
others. Help me to use the example established by Your Son,
Jesus, and spend time praying for others instead of causing
an increase in tensions and frustrations by trying to force
changes in them. Help me to love others in the same way
Jesus taught us to love others, and in the way He loves us.”

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