A CURE FOR LONELINESS

BIBLE PASSAGE:
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for
each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.”
(1 Thessalonians 3:12)

MEDITATION:
Loneliness can have one of the greatest impacts imaginable
on a person’s thoughts, emotions and self-esteem. When we
are lonely, we can feel isolated from the love of others. One
of the greatest desires of everyone (including those who will
not admit it) is to feel loved.

Ask anyone who has lost a spouse, and they will tell us about
the overwhelming loneliness they feel. As followers of Jesus,
we have a responsibility to be sensitive to their feelings and
to look for ways to comfort and encourage them. We need to
assure them they are loved and accepted.

Without love, we can feel there is a great void in our lives. This
void can grow and affect our entire being (our emotions, our
goals, our attitudes, our happiness, our joy, etc.). Love tells us
that we have been accepted by others, and isn’t acceptance  
what everyone wants? Being accepted means feeling loved.

Closely associated with love, is a desire to have others listen to us.
People have a yearning to not only be loved and accepted, but to
also have someone who will listen to them (especially when they
are going through a difficult time).

Too often we think we are helping others by giving them our
unsolicited advice, when their greatest need is for us to listen
to them. Our intentions may be good, but we need to realize
that when they want our advice, they will ask for it.

Having the patience to listen is one way we can show others that
we are genuinely concerned about them, that we love them, and
that we want to help and encourage them. It may not always be
easy, but patiently listening is an excellent way of expressing love
and concern for others.

A hospital chaplain gave me some good advice about visiting
people in the hospital. He said that we don’t visit to entertain
them, or tell them everything that is going on in our lives.
Instead, we visit to let them know that we care about them
and are concerned about their health.

In order to communicate our love and concern for them, we need
to listen more than we talk. He told me the best way to do that is
to ask questions like,
    “How are you feeling?”
    “Is there anything I can do for you”
And then…listen attentively to their replies.

He also warned about saying things like,
        “I know how you feel”
    or
        “I had a friend who had what you have, and….etc.”

The same sickness impacts people in different ways, so we
really don’t know how they feel. Additionally, they are not
interested in our opinions or about the sicknesses of others,
they just want to know that someone cares and is concerned
about them and their health.

Lastly, he gave some great advice on arriving and leaving
when visiting someone who is sick. Before arriving, he said
we should plan on spending no more than 5 minutes. Why?
Because they are trying to recover, and are not concerned
about entertaining us or being entertained by us at the time.

When arriving, we should never say anything like,
    “I was on my way to (wherever) and thought
      I would stop by to see how you are doing”
That communicates to them that our visit was secondary
to other things we were doing. They need to know that
we made a special effort just to visit them.

When we arrive, we should say something like,
    “I wanted to see how you are doing;
      is this a bad time for a visit right now?”
Although they appreciate our visit, they could be expecting
the nurse to come in soon for some procedure, or they may
just need to rest right now. We shouldn’t be offended if they
ask us if we could come back later. Remember they are sick
and are trying to get well.

When leaving, we shouldn’t say anything like,
    “I’ve got to go to (wherever),
      but just wanted to check in on you”
Again, that communicates to them that our visit was
an afterthought, and not a special trip out of concern
for them. We need to let them know we were thinking
about them, and that’s why we came by.

And we shouldn’t say anything like,
    “You need to get some rest,
      so I’m going to leave”
The doctors are treating them and know what they need.

Instead we should simply say,
    “I’m going to go now, I’ll be glad to
      do anything you need me to do”
If they want us to stay longer, they will ask us to stay.

Our world has been filled with a selfishness of primarily focusing
on ourselves, our needs, and what we have to say. Listening has
become a lost virtue throughout our world. Consequently, we as
Christians have an opportunity to show that we are different (in
a good way), by simply listening to others with sincere interest.

We love and serve a God who patiently listens to everything we
say to Him, even though He already knows what we are going to
say. As followers of Jesus, we need to learn from Him so that we
can develop patience, and become better listeners.

As believers, we should express our love for the Lord (to Him),
so we can show our love for others more easily. The Lord has
given us an uncomplicated way of proving our love for Him:
    “If you love me, keep my commands.”
    (John 14:15)

At the beginning of his prayer, Daniel encourages us to love the Lord:
    I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed:
    “Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps
    His covenant of love with those who love Him
    and keep His commandments”
    (Daniel 9:4)

It is important for every believer to express our love for
the Lord (to Him), so He can express His love to others
through us. When we love the Lord supremely, we will
develop a capacity to love others as well. The love that
God gives is not the ordinary love that we find in the
world today; it is a special kind of love that flows out
from a heart of sincerity.

When we sincerely love our neighbors, it’s not with the world’s
definition of love, but it is God loving through us. We live in a
world that is focused on science, increasing knowledge, gaining
power, etc. Some of those things are not necessarily bad, but the
greatest need of all people is to be loved.

ACTION:
If we want to show love toward others, we need to show love
toward God, we need to exercise patience, and we need to be
good listeners. How are you doing in these three areas? Are
you expressing your love to the Lord on a regular basis?

Are you a good listener, or do you concentrate more on what you
plan to say? Do you show patience when others are speaking, or
do you complete their sentences for them? Do you begin speaking
before they have finished, or do you even walk away while they
are talking? Walk away, really? Yes, I’ve had that happen to me.

Some people say they interrupt, because they’re afraid they
will forget what they were going to say if they wait for the
other person to finish. Think about this:
    If we forget what we were going to say, it could
    be God’s way of preventing us from saying what
    we shouldn’t say at that time.

A friend of mine died from pancreatic cancer and one of the
things many remember about him, was how he would ask
others to tell him what is going on in their lives. He didn’t
ask just to fill the silence with conversation, he was genuinely
interested in them and their lives. He had a genuine love for
the Lord and was a sincerely good listener.

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your covenant of love.
Thank You for patiently listening to me when I pray. Help
me to see my own faults when I am interacting with others.
Teach me to be a better listener and to exercise patience so
Your love can flow through me to others. Remind me that
when I am selfishly focused on myself, I am preventing
others from knowing of my love for them. Teach me how
to live a life that shows my love for You. I pray that when
others sense my love for You, they will know and appreciate
Your love for them as well. Help me to find ways to show
others that I genuinely love them because Jesus loves me
and He has commanded me to love others.”

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