ARE YOU A PRISONER OF BITTERNESS?

BIBLE PASSAGE:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
(Ephesians 4:32)

MEDITATION:
Forgiveness can be defined as:
    The intentional and voluntary process of a victim to change
    their feelings and attitudes regarding an offense. They ‘let go’
    of emotions tied to vengefulness, and develop an ability to wish
    the offender well.

Forgiveness is also a legal term for absolving, or giving up all
claims on an account of debt, loan, or obligation. This is what
Jesus did for us as sinners – He paid the debts we owed for our
sins. Due to our sins, we owed a sacrifice to God, however Jesus
became that sacrifice for us in the most painful way imaginable.

Of course for His sacrifice to effectively ‘pay our debt’, we have
to believe that He was God’s Son, that He went to the cross for
us, and that He was resurrected and is now sitting beside God.
God’s Word tells us that our belief of these three things are
critical for our salvation.

No matter what is going on in our lives right now, we will all
come to a time when we step into eternity. It is critical that
salvation is our highest priority. God loves us and is willing
to forgive us, but we have to believe in Him and have a faith
that is evident by the way we live, and the thoughts that occupy
our minds the most.

Forgiveness is not the same as:
    Condoning:
        Failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness.

    Excusing:
        Not holding the offender responsible for the action.

    Pardoning:
        Granted by a representative of society, such as a judge.

    Forgetting:
        Removing awareness of the offense from consciousness.

    Reconciliation:
        Restoration of a relationship.

Lack of forgiveness can result in someone being chained to
bitterness. Bitterness has been the root cause for murders
and it has even ignited wars. It has caused divorces and divided
churches. Whenever we fail to allow God’s characteristic of
forgiveness to permeate our entire being, we can become and
remain, a prisoner of bitterness.

Those who have ‘wronged’ us can become chained in a prison
of guilt. Quite often, others know they have offended us in some
way, but are not sure how to repair the damage. Apologies are a
good start, but for some reason many folks struggle with this type
of reconciliation. They may try to apologize by their actions, but
actually expressing their regret in words is difficult for a lot of people.

One of the keys to unlocking our chains of bitterness is to forgive
others as Jesus forgave us. Another key could be to accept their
‘apology actions’ as an effort on their part to say they are sorry,
(whether they use the words or not). We can still be clinging to
bitterness if we have decided that the only pathway to any kind
of reconciliation is the one we have chosen.

In other words, if they don’t do exactly what we think they should
do, then we are not going to forgive them completely. Is that how
Jesus treated others? No. He went to the cross for us even though
we did not ask for God’s forgiveness first.

Was Jesus bitter toward those who had offended God? No. He loved
us in spite of our failures and didn’t hesitate to show His forgiveness.
Of course, He did ask His Father if there was the possibility of having
a different plan of salvation for mankind, but was obedient to God’s
plan which included Jesus’ sacrifice for our debts.

Even if we say we have forgiven someone, we can become prisoners
of hurt if we continue to allow the damage of the offense to dominate
our thoughts and actions toward the other person. Imagine the hurt
that Jesus felt when everything He did was for the benefit of others.
He often healed others and taught them how to live the good life, but
most importantly He brought them the Good News of the plan of salvation.

Think for a moment of the impact of the Good News. Jesus wanted
everyone to understand that there are only two options when we step
into eternity.
    (1) We will spend our eternity in agony and separation from God, or
    (2) We will spend it with Him and enjoy all He has prepared for us.

How did the people respond to the Good News Jesus brought them?
Some responded in the correct way, but there were others who not
only harassed Jesus, but ultimately contributed to His execution.
Imagine the hurt He must have felt as He tried to help others, but
they rejected Him along with His message. Yet He did not allow
His hurt to prevent Him from doing what He did for us from a
heart of love.

We need to learn how to forgive one another. God’s Word tells us
that forgiveness is an indication that we are kind and compassionate.
We understand that others can make regretful mistakes, but we can
help them avoid becoming prisoners of guilt when we forgive them
(even if they fail to apologize). We need to realize the positive impact
our forgiveness can have on those who have hurt, or offended us.

ACTION:
How are you handling it when others offend you? Have you
allowed forgiveness to free you from the bondage of bitterness
and hurt, or are you a prisoner looking for a way to escape
your disappointments? If you are struggling with forgiveness,
remember the magnitude of the forgiveness God had for you.

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is necessary if we expect
to experience freedom from the emotions that can spoil our
joy and happiness. We will not likely enjoy this freedom if we
have a desire to see our offenders experience the same hurt
and pain that we felt when they offended us.

Those types of thoughts are vengeful –
    “I was hurt, now you need to be hurt”.
Developing the attitudes of Jesus is a struggle at times, however
God sent the Holy Spirit to assist us in becoming more like Him.

Have you ever heard someone say (or maybe you’ve said it yourself),
    “I can never forgive them for what they have done!”
Is that how Jesus treated you? Of course not! Forgiveness is an
indication of a Godly attitude. For those who claim to have faith
in God, forgiving others is an opportunity to prove our faith is real.
Is God speaking to you right now about someone you should forgive?

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace that forgives us.
Thank You, Jesus for showing Your forgiveness when You
went to the cross pay my debts. Help me develop Your attitude
of forgiveness so that I will not be a prisoner of bitterness and
hurt. When I am hurt by others, help me to remember that You
were also hurt, yet You chose to forgive completely. Thank You
for sending the Holy Spirit to help me to become more like You.”

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