ARE YOU A PRISONER OF BITTERNESS?

BIBLE PASSAGE:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
(Ephesians 4:32)

MEDITATION:
Forgiveness can be defined as:
    The intentional and voluntary process of a victim to change
    their feelings and attitudes regarding an offense. They ‘let go’
    of emotions tied to vengefulness and develop an ability to wish
    the offender well.

Forgiveness is also a legal term for absolving or giving up all
claims on an account of debt, loan, or obligation. As sinners,
this is what Jesus did for us as sinners – He paid the debts we 
owed for our sins. Because of our sins, we owed a sacrifice to 
God, however, Jesus became that sacrifice for us in the most 
painful way imaginable.

Of course, for His sacrifice to effectively ‘pay our debt’, we have
to believe that He was God’s Son, that He went to the cross for
our sins, that He was resurrected and is now sitting beside God.
God’s Word tells us that our belief of these things are critical for
our salvation.

No matter what is going on in our lives right now, we will all
reach a time when we take our step into eternity. It is critical
that salvation is our highest priority. God loves us and is willing
to forgive us, but we have to believe in Him and have a faith
that is evident by the way we live, and the thoughts that occupy
our minds the most.

Forgiveness is not the same as:
    Condoning:
        Failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness.

   Excusing:
        Not holding the offender responsible for the action.

    Pardoning:
        Granted by a representative of society, such as a judge.

    Forgetting:
        Removing awareness of the offense from consciousness.

    Reconciliation:
        Restoration of a relationship.

Lack of forgiveness can result in someone being chained to
bitterness. Bitterness has been the root cause for murders
and it has even ignited wars. It has caused divorces and it
has divided churches.

If we fail to allow the characteristic of forgiveness (the kind God
and Jesus have) to permeate our entire being, we can become
(and remain), a prisoner of our own bitterness.

We should remember that those who have ‘wronged’ us can
become chained in a prison of their own guilt. Quite often,
others know they have offended us in some way, but they 
are not sure how they can repair the damage.

Apologies are a good start, but for some reason many folks struggle
with this step toward reconciliation. They may try to apologize by
their actions, but actually expressing their regret in words is difficult
for a lot of people.

One of the keys to unlocking our chains of bitterness is to forgive
others as Jesus forgave us. Another key could be to accept their
‘apologetic actions’ as an effort on their part to say they are sorry,
(even if they fail to verbalize their regret).

We can still be clinging to bitterness if we have decided that the
only pathway to any kind of reconciliation is the one we have and
expect. In other words, if they don’t do exactly what we think they
should do, then we are not going to forgive them completely.

Is that how Jesus treated others? Of course not! He went to the cross
for us even though we did not ask for God’s forgiveness first. He chose
to express His love for us without waiting on us to apologize for our
sinfulness.

Was Jesus bitter toward those who offended God? No. He loved us
in spite of our failures, and He didn’t hesitate to show His forgiveness.
He would have preferred a different plan of salvation and even asked
His Father if there was another way to provide salvation for mankind,
but He was obedient to God’s plan, which included His sacrifice for
our sins.

Even if we say we have forgiven someone, we can become prisoners
of hurt if we continue to allow the damage of the offense to dominate
our thoughts and actions toward the other person. Imagine the hurt
that Jesus felt when everything He did was for the benefit of others.
He often healed others and taught them how to live an enriched life,
and He also brought them the Good News of the plan of salvation.

Think for a moment about the core message of the Good News. Jesus
wanted everyone to understand that there are only two options for us
when we step into eternity.
    (1) We will spend our eternity in agony and separation from God, or
    (2) We will spend it with Him and enjoy all He has prepared for us.

How did the people respond to the Good News Jesus brought them?
Some responded in the correct way, but there were others who chose
to ignore and reject His message. Some even harassed Jesus, and a
few ultimately contributed to His execution.

Imagine the hurt He must have felt as He tried to help others,
but they rejected Him along with His message. However, He
did not allow His hurt to prevent Him from doing what He did
for us out of a heart filled with love.

We need to learn how to forgive one another. God’s Word tells us
that forgiveness is evidence that we are kind and compassionate.
We understand that others can make regretful mistakes, but we
can help them avoid becoming prisoners of their own guilt when
we forgive them (even if they fail to apologize).

We should pause and think about the positive impact our forgiveness can
have on those who have offended or hurt us. We need to learn to
forgive others in the same manner that Jesus forgave us.

Look at the kind of forgiveness Jesus had toward Judas (the one
who intentionally betrayed Him in a way that led to His death).
After being with Jesus for years, Judas treated Him as nothing
more than a way to get money, however,
    Jesus fed Judas; Jesus prayed for Judas; Jesus washed Judas’ feet.
    Jesus had the kind of love and forgiveness that would:
        Feed the mouth that deceived Him.
        Pray for someone who planned to do Him harm.
        Wash the feet of a traitor.
        Forgive even the vilest of betrayals.

ACTION:
How are you handling it when others offend or hurt you? Have you
allowed forgiveness to free you from the bondage of bitterness and
hurt, or have you become a prisoner looking for a way to escape your
disappointments? If you are struggling with forgiveness, remember
the magnitude of forgiveness God and His Son have for you.

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is necessary if we expect to
experience freedom from the emotions that can spoil our joy and
happiness. We will not likely enjoy this freedom if we have a desire
to see our offenders experience the same hurt and pain that we felt
when they offended us.

Those types of thoughts are vengeful –
    “I was hurt, now you need to be hurt”.
Developing the attitudes of Jesus is a struggle at times, however
God sent the Holy Spirit to assist us in becoming more like Him.

Have you ever heard someone say (or maybe you’ve said it yourself),
    “I can never forgive them for what they have done!”
Is that how Jesus treated you? Of course not! Forgiveness is one
indication of a Godly attitude. For those who claim to have faith
in God, forgiving others is an opportunity to prove their faith is
real. Do you feel God speaking to you right now about someone
you should forgive?

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace that forgives us.
Thank You, Jesus for showing Your forgiveness when You
went to the cross to pay for what I owe. Help me develop Your
attitude of forgiveness so I will not be a prisoner of bitterness
and hurt. When I am hurt by others, help me to remember that
You were also hurt, yet You chose to forgive completely. Thank
You for sending the Holy Spirit to help me become more like You.”

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