WHEN WE LOSE A LOVED ONE

Last night my mother went home to be with Jesus.
She was 96 and her health was declining fast.

When we lose a loved one,
there is only one message that is important – GOD LOVES US!

He proved His love by sending His Son to the cross to die for our sins.
That leaves no doubt that He loves us.
What else could He do to prove His love for us?

When we lose a loved one, we are saddened and remember so much about them
but it is also a time of quiet reflection.

We need to be honest with ourselves and determine if we are where we want to be in our life, if we are who we want to be, and where we really want to be.

What about our love for Him?
God loves us, but how much do we love Him?

I think of it as a formula:
God’s love for us = Our love for Him – (????}

What keeps us from loving Him as much as He loves us?
What do the question marks represent in our own life?

Would it be Anger & Bitterness?
Do you think of Jesus as an angry and bitter person?
He was quite the opposite – He was loving and caring.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
What kind of overall attitude do you have?
How do others perceive you and your attitude?
Do you fly off the handle, or are you in control?
Do you want to get revenge on others when they have done you wrong?
Do you “write off” others whenever they have wronged you, or lied to you?
Do you hold a grudge?

Is it Selfishness?
No matter what Jesus was doing, He always had time for others.
PHILIPPIANS 2:3 – think of others as better than yourselves (humility)
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
When you have a conversation with others, do you spend most of the time
talking about yourself, your family, your activities, etc.?
Do you spend an equal amount of time asking the other person about
themselves, their family, etc.?
When others are talking, are you really listening,
or are you planning what you want to say next?
Do you become impatient if they aren’t brief when talking about themselves?
Do you show genuine concern when they share their concerns or feelings?

Is it Greed?
When greed is our focus, relationships lose their importance.
All we can think of is getting more
and relationships with those who cannot help us are not important.
1 TIMOTHY 6
Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many
foolish and harmful desires.
Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith
and pierced themselves with many griefs
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
Is your focus on things or relationships?
Do you get your self-esteem by what you own,
or how big your bank account is?
Do you give back to God what He asks us to give as an expression of
our faith?  Or do you justify the giving of a lesser amount?
How important are friendships to you?

Is it Jealousy?
When we are jealous, we feel we deserve what others have.
We fail to be thankful for what the Lord has given us.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
Are you glad to see others blessed?
When someone else receives something special from a friend,
are you glad for them or do you think, “They didn’t give me anything”?
When someone is getting attention from a friend,
do you just enjoy the conversation,
or do you think of how you can start getting attention?
When someone asks your friend about things going on in their life,
do you start telling them about things going on in your life whether
they ask you or not?
When you are hurting, does it bother you when someone else receives
attention when they are hurting (and you don’t)? And do you start trying to
redirect the attention to yourself?
If someone is honored or receives an award for something they did,
are you glad for them, or do you want recognition for something you did?

Is it Envy?
Envy says that others do not deserve what they have.
We are judging their worth and saying that God made a mistake.
The bible is very clear about not assuming God’s position as judge.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
Do you feel that you always have to have the biggest, the most
expensive and the best of the best?
Do you gauge the things you buy on what others have, or don’t have?
When someone upgrades their house, car, etc.,
do you feel a need to upgrade yours too?
If someone has a getaway place, are you glad for them,
or do you feel that you need to get one too?
If someone is praised for their athletic ability,
do you feel a need to improve your abilities so that you will receive praise?
If a prominent person knows a friend of yours,
do you have a desire for them to know you too?
Are you a “name dropper”?
Do you feel that your importance
depends on how many important or popular people you know?

Is it Pride?
When we develop an arrogant pride,
we are saying that we really don’t need God.  We can handle everything ourselves.
It can also cause us to fail to give God the glory He deserves.
That puts us in a dangerous position.
Example:
ACTS 12:21–23:
On the appointed day Herod, wearing his royal robes, sat on his throne and
delivered a public address to the people. They shouted, “This is the voice of a
god, not of a man.” Immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an
angel of the Lord struck him down, and he was eaten by worms and died.

PROVERBS 6:
Seven things the Lord hates – top of the list is Pride.
Also: Lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that devises wicked schemes
Feet that are quick to rush to evil
A false witness who pours out lies
A person who stirs up conflict

PROVERBS 8:13
I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Anything the Lord hates should not be a part of our lives.

MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
Do you have to be the center of attention?
Do you find yourself constantly talking about what you have accomplished?
Whenever someone shares something that happened in their life,
do you feel like you have to “one up” them?
If someone shares something funny that happened to them,
do you feel a need to share something funnier that happened to you?
If someone has an illness, do you start talking about your illnesses,
or do you sympathize with them and ask if they need anything?
Do you find ways to blame others for your mistakes?
Do you admit that you make mistakes?
Do you justify your mistakes?

We could go on and on with things that prevent us from loving Him as much as He loves us (sinful habits, profanity, drinking, drugs, lust, etc.)
BUT…..Each of us knows what the question marks represent in our own life.

We need to be honest with ourselves and with God (He knows it anyway).
It is important for us to ask Him to remove the question marks in our life.
Our main focus and priority should be a desire to be more like Jesus.

JOHN 11:40
Then Jesus said,
“Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
Death gives us the opportunity to see the glory of God.

Does the Lord understand the grief of losing loved ones?  Of course He does.
JOHN 11:33 (when her brother Lazarus had died and Mary came to Jesus)
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her
also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.

Now, if God loves us all, then we may have a couple of questions.
1.    Why do we have debilitating diseases?
ANSWER – There is sin in the world and as long as it exists, we will have troubles.

2.    Why doesn’t God answer our prayers?
ANSWER – Even though He hears our prayers, God may not always answer them on our timetable
or the way we want them answered.  Why?
Because He is God and He knows what is best in all situations.

Sometimes we pray that God will be merciful and relieve our loved ones from pain. Does He do that?  Of course He does.  Death brings an end to pain and suffering.

Sometimes we pray that God will improve a loved one’s health.
Does He do that?
Of course He does!
Whenever a loved one goes to be with Him, they receive a new body, a new mind, and they are with Jesus – what could be better than that?

God answers our prayers in His own way.

What should be our response to His answer to our prayers?
To thank Him for what He has done.