DEVOTIONAL SERIES ON LOVE (part-64)

WHEN WE LOSE A LOVED ONE

BIBLE PASSAGE:
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
(1 John 4:8)

MEDITATION:
I still remember the night when my mother went home to be with Jesus.
She was 96 and it was sad to see how her health had declined so quickly.
But now she is with the Lord and in excellent health!

When we lose a loved one, there is only one message that is important
to us, and that message is – GOD LOVES US! He proved His love by
sending His Son to the cross to die for our sins. That leaves no doubt
that He loves us. What more could He do to prove His love for us?

When we lose a loved one, we are saddened and remember so much
about them but can also be a time of quiet reflection. We need to be
honest with ourselves and decide if we are where we want to be in life,
if we are who we want to be, and if we are where we really want to be.
Then, we need to determine if we are where God wants us to be and if
we are who He wants us to be.

We should evaluate our love for God. The scriptures assure us that God
loves us, but how much do we love Him?
Think of it as a formula:
    God’s love for us = Our love for Him minus (????}
What keeps us from loving Him as much as He loves us?
What do the question marks (????) represent in our own life?

Would it be Anger & Bitterness?
Do you think of Jesus as an angry and bitter person?
He was quite the opposite, wasn’t He? He was loving and caring.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – What kind of overall attitude do I have?
    – How do others perceive me and my attitude?
    – Do I fly off the handle, or am I in control?
    – Do I want to get revenge on others when they have done me wrong?
    – Do I “write off” others whenever they have wronged me, or lied to me?
    – Do I hold a grudge?

Is it Selfishness?
No matter what Jesus was doing, He always had time for others.
    Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
    Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
    (Philippians 2:3)
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – When I have a conversation with others, do I spend most of
       the time talking about myself, my family, my activities, etc.?
    – Do I spend an equal amount of time asking the other person
       about themselves, their family, etc.?
    – When others are talking, am I really listening,
       or am I planning what I will say next?
    – Do I become impatient if someone isn’t brief
       when talking about themselves?
    – Do I show genuine interest
       when others share their concerns or feelings?
    – Am I willing to listen to those outside of my inner circle?
       (Jesus spent time listening to those others categorized as
       quirky, different, unworthy, sinners, a waste of time, etc.)

Is it Greed?
When greed is our focus, relationships lose their importance.
Greed keeps us thinking about getting more and the result is,
our relationships with those who can’t help us are not important.
    Those who want to get rich fall into temptation
    and a trap and into many foolish and harmful
    desires. Some people, eager for money, have
    wandered from the faith and pierced themselves
    with many griefs.
    (1 Timothy 6:10)
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – Is my focus on things or relationships?
    – Do I get my self-esteem by what I own, or the size of my bank account?
    – Do I give back to God what He commands as an expression of our faith?
    – Do I justify giving a lesser amount than what God requires?
    – How important are friendships to me?

Is it Jealousy?
When we are jealous, we feel we deserve what others have.
We forget to be thankful for what the Lord has given us.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – Am I glad to see others blessed?
    – When someone else receives something special from a friend,
       am I glad for them or do I think,
           “They didn’t give me anything”?
    – When someone is getting attention from a friend, do I just enjoy
       the conversation, or do I think of how I can start getting attention?
    – When someone asks my friend about things going on in their life,
       do I start telling them about things going on in my own life even
       if they don’t ask me?
    – When I am hurting, does it bother me when someone else receives
       attention when they are hurting (and I don’t)? Do I start trying to
       redirect the attention to myself?
    – If someone is honored or receives an award for something they did,
       am I glad for them, or do I want recognition for something I did?

Is it Envy?
Envy says that others don’t deserve what they have. That kind of
thinking means we are judging their worth and deciding that God
made a mistake. The bible is very clear about not assuming God’s
position as judge. He is the one who determines what we deserve.
MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – Do I feel that I always must have the biggest,
       the most expensive and the best of the best?
    – Do I compare the things I buy to what others have, or don’t have?
    – When someone upgrades their house, car, etc.,
       do I feel a need to upgrade mine too?
    – If someone has a getaway place, am I glad for them,
       or do I feel that I need to get one too?
    – If someone is praised for their athletic ability, do I feel
       a need to improve my abilities so I will receive praise?
    – If a prominent person knows a friend of mine,
       do I have a desire for them to know me too?
    – Am I a “name dropper”?
    – Do I feel that my importance depends on
       how many important or popular people I know?

Is it Pride?
When we develop an arrogant pride, we are saying that we really
don’t need God. We can handle everything ourselves. It can also
cause us to fail to give God the glory He deserves. That puts us in
a dangerous position.
Example::
    On the appointed day Herod, wearing his royal robes,
    sat on his throne and delivered a public address to the
    people. They shouted, “This is the voice of a god, not
    of a man.” Immediately, because Herod did not give
    praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down,
    and he was eaten by worms and died.
    (Acts 12:21–23)

Note:
    The Lord hates arrogant pride;
    anything He hates should not be a part of our lives.
        There are six things the LORD hates, seven
        that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a
        lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
        a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that
        are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who
        pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict
        in the community.
        (Proverbs 6:16-19)

        I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
        (Proverbs 8:13)

MEASUREMENT CHECKPOINT:
    – Do I have to be the center of attention?
    – Do I find myself constantly talking about what I have accomplished?
    – Whenever someone shares something that happened in
       their life, do I feel I have to “one up” them?
    – If someone shares something funny that happened to them, do
       I feel a need to share something funnier that happened to me?
    – If someone has an illness, do I start talking about my illnesses,
       or do I sympathize with them and ask if they need anything?
    – Do I find ways to blame others for my mistakes?
    – Do I admit that I make mistakes?
    – Do I justify my mistakes?

We could go on and on about things that prevent us from loving God
as much as He loves us (sinful habits, profanity, drinking, drugs, lust, etc.)
BUT…each of us knows what the question marks represent in our own life.

We need to be honest with ourselves and with God (He knows it anyway).
It’s important for us to ask Him to remove the question marks in our life.
Our main focus and priority should be a desire to be more like Jesus.

Faith gives us the opportunity to see the glory of God.
    Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you
    believed, you would see the glory of God?”
    (John 11:40)

Does the Lord understand the grief of losing loved ones? Of course,
He does. Look at His reaction when Mary’s brother, Lazarus, died
and she came to Jesus.
    When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had
    come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved
    in spirit and troubled.
    (John 11:33)

Now, if God loves us all, then we may have a couple of questions.
    1. Why do we have debilitating diseases?
         ANSWER:
             There is sin in the world and as long as it exists, we will have troubles.

    2. Why doesn’t God answer our prayers?
          ANSWER:
              Even though He hears our prayers, God may not
               always answer them on our timetable, or the way
               we want them answered. Why? Because He is God
               and He knows what is best in all situations.

Sometimes we pray that God will be merciful and relieve our loved ones
from pain. Does He do that? He may not relieve their pain on earth; He
may choose instead to bring them to Him and heal them in heaven.

Sometimes we pray that God will improve a loved one’s health. Does He
do that? Of course He does! Whenever a loved one goes to be with the
Lord, they receive a new body, a new mind, and they are with Jesus. Even
though the loss can be painful to us, what could be better for them than
being with Him?

We need to remember that God answers our prayers in His own way.
What should be our response to His answer to our prayers? We should
thank Him for what He has done, and we should tell others how He has
answered our prayers.

ACTION:
We may not be able to fully grasp the degree to which God loves us,
and the way He chooses to answer our prayers. But what we need to
do is, keep praying until He answers our prayers and be willing to
accept how He answers them.

We may have to wait hours, days, weeks, months, or even years before
we receive an answer to our prayers. But during the time we are waiting,
instead of developing feelings of frustration and lack of hope, we need to
remember His words to us.
    And we know that in all things God works
    for the good of those who love him, who
    have been called according to his purpose.
    (Romans 8:28)

How long should we pray for our concerns? The scriptures encourage
us to be persistent. That means we continue to pray until something
happens.
    Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that
    they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a
    certain town there was a judge who neither feared God
    nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in
    that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me
    justice against my adversary.’
    “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself,
    ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think,
    yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that
    she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack
    me!’”
    And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And
    will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry
    out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?
    (Luke 18:1-7)

This is our 64th (and final) lesson/devotional on “Love”.

God loves every person on this planet – past, present, and future.
He has called each of us to love others like He loves us:
sacrificially, humbly, and unconditionally.

Loving our enemies doesn’t mean we should put ourselves in unhealthy
or unsafe situations, nor does it mean we ignore the pain someone has
caused us. But it does mean that we daily seek to represent Jesus by
showing people respect, empathy, truth, and grace.

It means we acknowledge the pain and injustice we experience while
never ceasing to pray that our enemies personally accept Jesus.

It’s Jesus who showed us what unconditional love
and forgiveness looked like when He died for us.

It’s Jesus who took Paul, a murderer,
and turned him into a great evangelist.

It’s Jesus who forgave Peter for denying Him
and set him apart to build the global Church.

It’s Jesus who loved religious zealots who
betrayed Him, and crowds who tried to kill Him.

When Jesus asks us to love our enemies, He isn’t
asking us to do anything that He hasn’t already done first.

Jesus is kind to the “ungrateful and the wicked” which includes us.
So, let’s represent Jesus well so others (even our enemies) will want
to know Him. When people know Him, they will no longer want to
stay as they are… they will want to become more like Jesus. When
we love others like Jesus did, we will also love our Heavenly Father
like He did. We need to incorporate the love of Jesus into our lives
so we will become more like the One we are following (Jesus).

Can we love like Jesus? Yes, we can, if we will allow the Lord to
transform us from who we are to who He wants us to be. When
we received salvation from the Lord, it initiated a sanctification
process where He would purge us of unrighteousness and fill us
with righteousness.

If we embrace this transformation, then we can become more like
Jesus and allow His love to flow through us to others. Have these
64 weeks changed your perspective on love? Have you decided to
let love be your guide in all you say and do? Have you decided that
love will determine what you will do for the Lord?

He has given those in His family at least one spiritual gift when He
saved us. It’s not a gift for us to admire and remain unused. It was
His gift to assist us in answering His call to serve Him wherever He
wants to use us. We must make the choice to activate our spiritual
gift so we can be a part of His earthly ministry team.

What choice have you made? Love is an active word, so what actions
do you plan to change or add to your life? Will you commit to showing
love to others proactively? If we only respond to love when others show
us love, then if nobody shows us love, we won’t show love to anyone.

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for hearing my prayers
when I pray according to Your will. Remind me that
You are listening, but your answers to my prayers may
be different than what I was expecting. Thank You for
knowing me and my heart, and tailoring your answers
to my prayer in the way that is best for me. Convict me
and help me to remove anything in my life that prevents
me from loving You in the same way that You love me.”

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