DEVOTIONAL SERIES ON LOVE (part-57)

GETTING HELP FOR LONELINESS AND FEELINGS OF BEING UNLOVED

BIBLE PASSAGE:
Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love.
Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in them.
(1 John 4:8,16)

MEDITATION:
Have you ever reached a point in your life when you felt all alone
and unloved? You had friends all around you, but those feelings
would not go away. Your friends and family may have suspected
something was wrong and wanted to help, but they were not sure
what to do or say.

Even when they tried to console you, the things they had to say were
not what you needed at the time. You may have misinterpreted their
words or their inactions as a lack of concern, and it caused you to
think your friends and family deserted you in your time of need.

It can be one of the worst times in our lives. can’t it? Knowing that
we are loved by someone (anyone) is what we desperately need some
times. Even though we might not admit it, being loved is a need for
all of us.

A feeling of being lonely and unloved can cause us to fall into a state
of depression. Then depression can cause us to withdraw from others
which adds to our emotional pain, and could result in some health
problems.

Who knows how you arrived at this point in your life? Maybe
it was caused by something someone said or did to you. It could
be the result of a sudden health or financial problem. Perhaps
it was caused by an overwhelming concern or worry you have
about someone, or something else.

It could be that you reached out to someone (text, phone call, etc.)
but they ignored you and didn’t answer your call, or respond to
your text. We should all remember that when someone reaches
out to us, it could be a call (or text) for help. Not necessarily for
advice, but to fill a need to know that someone cares about them.

Regardless of how we reach a state of feeling lonely and unloved,
it is emotionally painful to have this feeling of despair. To others,
it may seem like something insignificant, but it is real to you and
it is disrupting your life.

Whenever we get these feelings, we need to look for help from
the One we know always loves us. His Word confirms God’s
love many times and even reminds us that ‘He IS love’! Think
about that for a second – God is filled with His love for every
person He has created.

Not only does God love us, but He is there with us. Remember
when you created something with your own hands? You had a
special affection for it and wanted to protect it at all costs, didn’t
you? Why? Because you made it, and it had a special place in
your heart.

God made us! He has a special love for us and wants to be
with us at all times. He wants to protect us from feelings
that can devastate our lives. Even though God expressed
His love for us by sending His only Son to the cross for our
sins, most of us cannot fully comprehend or appreciate the
depth and sincerity of His love for us.

We have heard others say that they love someone, but their
actions may cause us to wonder if they are sincere. However,
we can be sure that God loves us and His sincerity is never in
question. When we call on Him, He will not ignore us and cause
us to sink deeper into any feelings of despair we are having.

According to His Word, in order to know God, we are required to
live a life of love. We are to love God; we are to love others; and
we are to love ourselves. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean we become
conceited or egotistical, it means we appreciate how wonderfully
God has made us, and we love the fact that He has plans for us.

We are told that for us to ‘live in Him’, and for Him to ‘live in us’,
we have to ‘live in love’. Others should know us by the life of love
we live. A person with love has a greater concern for others than
they do for themselves.

They are NOT known as someone who is selfish and must always
have things their way. They are known as someone who cares and
is willing to listen to others, especially those who have concerns and
need reassurance that someone loves, or at least cares about them.

It’s interesting that even when a loving person is discouraged,
they still look for ways to lift the spirits of others. They enjoy
brightening the days of those around them; they don’t look
for ways to harm, discourage, ignore, or disrespect them.

Hunger and thirst are the main physical desires of a person,
but love is our greatest emotional need. However, living a life
of love does not mean that we are immune to difficult times in
our own lives.

So what do we do whenever we are overwhelmed by these feelings
of loneliness and being unloved? The scriptures tell us we need to
‘rely on God’, because we ‘know of the love He has for us’. We know
of His love because He made us and has given us the capacity to
understand that He loves us. His love is not a casual love, but it’s
a love that’s sincere, ever present, and wants the best for us.

Just as we hate to see another person hurting, God doesn’t want to see
us hurting either. Even when we make bad choices, we may suffer the
consequences of our choices, but God’s love for us does not diminish.
When it seems no one else is there, God is always there because He
loves and cares about us.

ACTION:
Questions to consider:
    – Do you know God?
    – Are you living a life of love?
    – What motivates you to do what you do and say what you say?
    – Do you want the best for others, or does jealousy get in your way?
    – Are you guilty of ignoring others who reach out to you?
    – How close is your relationship with God?
    – Do you feel you need to tell others about your faith and love
       of God, or can they see it by the way you live your life?

As an example, would you believe someone if they tell you they love
another person, but they never have a conversation with them or
spend any time with them? Their lack of action would cause you to
be skeptical about their love for the other person, wouldn’t it? There
are people who claim to love the Lord, but seldom spend time with
Him (through prayer and worship).

True love means we look forward to spending time with another person.
We don’t visit them because we feel obligated to visit them; we visit the
ones we love because we look forward to spending time with them. Even
if our actions don’t support our love for God, His love for us continues
because that’s the kind of loving God He is. When you were a child, do
you remember how much you enjoyed singing, “Jesus loves me”? As a
child we could appreciate that message, but as adults we may not feel
the same impact of those words.

We might be tempted to think “That’s a nice message”, but then we
ignore it and continue living the life we are living in the way we want
to live it. However, we need to realize that one day we will be held
accountable for the sincerity of our love for the Lord.

Jesus said,
    “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will
      enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one
      who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
      Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did
      we not prophesy in Your name and in Your name
      drive out demons and in Your name perform many
      miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never
      knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”
      (Matthew 7:21-23)

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your love for me.
Thank You for being the One I can rely on at all
times. Thank You for being there when others are
not available to encourage and lift my spirits. Help
me to live a life of love so I will truly know You and
feel Your love for me. Forgive me if I have been selfish
and failed to spend time with You in prayer and worship.
I want to show my love for You…to You. I want others
to know that my love for You is real. I want them to see
how my words are confirmed through my actions. I know
that some have turned their back on You and no longer
have a desire to spend time worshipping and praising You
with others who love You. I pray that the Holy Spirit will
not let me turn my back on You, but will instill in me a
desire to look forward to enjoying my time with You in
worship and praise. Father, I pray that You will come to
my rescue when I have feelings that are overwhelming and
cause me to think that I am lonely and unloved. Whenever
I am in despair, remind me that I can rely on You because
You are always nearby and available. Help me to love others
as You love me.”

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