I’M SAVED, NOW WHAT? (part-27)

I’M SAVED, NOW WHAT?

USE OF TONGUES
Just to be sure his point about ‘misusing our tongue’ is understood,
James gives us an example of how something small can control
something large.
    When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them
    obey us, we can turn the whole animal.Or take ships as an
    example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong
    winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the
    pilot wants to go. (James 3:3-4)

Why would he suddenly start talking about horses and ships? Because
this is a precursor to something more important he has to say about
‘living as a believer’. The bit is small when compared to the horse,
the rudder is small when compared to the ship, and the tongue is small
when compared to the human body.
    Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes
    great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a
    small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among
    the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole
    course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
    (James 3:5-6)

Now we can see clearly where James was headed with his previous
comments. The tongue is a very small organ in the human body,
however it can make promises that could never be fulfilled. It can
also be an instrument used for bragging about things that are just
not true. In essence, it can be used for all kinds of lying.

James points out the destructive capability of an ‘out of control’
tongue with no self-discipline. He equates it to the damage a small
spark can cause when it creates a fire that destroys an entire forest.
He explains that only a few misplaced words can cause an incredible
amount of damage. A lying or boasting tongue is like a bulldozer going
through the forest destroying the life of everything in its path. What types
of massive destruction could James be talking about? Here are just a few
possibilities:

Destruction of the lives of others:
    Someone can be in a good spirit and looking forward to a great day.
    However their mood for the entire day can be ruined whenever we
    greet them with a few unkind words. Imagine for a moment that you
    are the one receiving the unkind words. You know the impact it can
    have on you for the rest of the day and possibly longer.

    As a milder example, think about when you have arisen feeling perky
    and the first person you saw said something like, “Are you feeling okay?
    You look like you don’t feel very good”. You can start to imagine all
    kinds of reasons why you look ill and completely forget how cheerful
    you were feeling when you awoke.

    As believers we should be aware of, and sensitive to how our words can
    be demoralizing to others. Sometimes we can hurt others unintentionally,
    but there are some who do it maliciously. God expects us to lift the spirits
    of others and not to say things that would hurt them. That is not how God
    treats us, so we should not treat others in a hurtful way.

Disruption of God’s work:
    God may be using several others as part of His earthly ministry but we can
    disrupt what they are doing by saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
    When we do that, we not only hurt the individual’s enthusiasm and impact
    their obedience in serving the Lord, but ultimately we can have a detrimental
    impact on God’s ministry.

Destruction of the world’s view of the church and/or Christians:
    Like it or not, Christians and their words and actions are observed by
    others, including those who are unsaved. Consequently, the inappropriate
    use of words can damage the perception others have of believers, and the
    way they feel about faith in general.

    Whenever we cause someone to have a negative opinion of living with
    a faith in God, we run the risk of causing them to have no interest in
    attending worship services of any type. The lost person could be under
    conviction, but our words could cause them to avoid anything they
    consider as religious. As a result, they may never accept God’s invitation
    to salvation. No believer wants to be responsible for causing someone to
    spend eternity separated from the Lord, so we need to carefully consider
    how our words (and actions) can impact others.

Destruction of reputations:
    We can use words as a way to manipulate the opinion people have of
    someone else. This is why believers should avoid gossip like the plague.
    Gossip is not a popular subject, but it is a popular activity. Many people
    spend a lot of time talking about someone else, often with the intention
    of injuring another person in some way. They either injure the person’s
    reputation or they destroy friendships the person has with other people.
    Unfortunately, believers can be just as guilty as non-believers in the area
    of gossip. Gossip does not fit who we are as God’s children. What we say
    is a reflection of what is in our heart. In order to please the Lord, we should
    pray the same prayer that David prayed.
        May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
        be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
        (Psalm 19:14)

    Whenever we destroy the reputation of someone, it can take a very long
    time for them to regain their good standing in the eyes of others. Obviously
    this can happen whenever we fabricate stories about them, but even when
    the stories are true we need to exercise wisdom and self-control.

    Some are guilty of hurting others whenever they feel a need to improve their
    own self-esteem. If they can call attention to the faults or mistakes of others,
    it makes them feel better about themselves. However, they may discover it has
    an opposite effect as they can be consumed with guilt for hurting another person
    who already feels bad about their mistakes. In addition, they develop a reputation
    of hurting others which causes others to avoid being around them. There is no
    good that can come out of blabbing to others that someone has had a failure in
    their life.

    Some people are blatant when disrespecting others, but believers can be clever
    in how they do it. They start out with something positive like “We need to pray
    for (name) because….”, but then they start telling all the details of their problem.
    Whenever the word ‘because’ is used when asking others to pray, we might be
    including too much information. We should remember that asking for prayer is
    not a free pass to start gossiping. God has never, nor will He ever condone gossip.

    Our careless use of words can also damage our own reputation. Whenever others
    see how we can hurt others, they know that we are not trustworthy. Once they have
    this opinion of us, they may be quick to tell others that we cannot be trusted. Once
    others develop this opinion of us, we may never regain their trust again.

Destruction of relationships.
    If we do not use godly wisdom and filter what we say, we can destroy a
    relationship with others by the things we say to their face, or to someone
    else. In we are mad or frustrated, we would be well advised to avoid saying
    anything to the other person, or anyone else, until we have gotten control of
    our emotions. Once we have exercised self-control, we should be able to
    choose our words more wisely and realize which ones could jeopardize a
    relationship.

Destruction of self-esteem.
    Similar to destroying reputations, we can damage a person’s self-esteem by
    the things we say to them, or about them. We all have areas of weakness and
    when someone highlights these areas to others, it just adds more weight to our
    burden of weakness. We should be focused on what can elevate the self-esteem
    of another person and not on the things that can tear it down. We can actually
    injure our own self-esteem by experiencing guilt for saying things that hurt
    someone else.

Creating feuds.
    The misuse of words can cause such bad feelings between two people that
    they no longer speak to each other. It can escalate to the point that they do
    things verbally or physically to harm each other. Unfortunately, there are
    some people who seem to entertain themselves with causing friction between
    others. It is difficult to understand why they enjoy doing this, but it seems
    they do. Some have even developed a reputation for this type of action.

Just to be sure everyone understands how dangerous an uncontrolled tongue can be,
James says it is ‘full of evil’. He tells us that the source of this evil rises up from hell
itself. In essence James explains that when we fail to control our tongues, we give
Satan an opportunity to corrupt our lives. When that happens, he can influence our
words in such a way that we can devastate the lives of others by the things we say.

Sometimes an uncontrolled tongue can simply mean being rude, such as interrupting
others when they are trying to express themselves (an indicator of not being a good
listener). Some will say they rudely interrupt because they are afraid they will forget
what they were going to say if they wait for the other person to finish speaking. But
if they do not interrupt and forget what they wanted to say, God may be preventing
them from saying something that should be left unsaid.

Has this ever happened to you – you are talking to someone and before you have
finished speaking, the other person starts talking over you? How does that make
you feel? What does that say about the other person’s opinion of what you have
to say (and possibly you in general)?

Have you ever had an experience when you were talking to someone and he
or she walked away while you were still speaking? You may say that it was
rude and inconsiderate, but what message does it convey? It says that he or
she is not interested in what you are saying and does not have the patience
and courtesy to listen anyway.

Jesus was busy about God’s mission for Him and had a limited time here on
earth to accomplish everything, but He was still attentive to others. If Jesus
took the time to hear everything others had to say, then we should patiently
listen as well. When we don’t, it is a sign of self-centeredness. We may not
think of ourselves in this way, but our actions show what is in our heart.

What about those times when you are in a group setting and everyone else is
rude to the point that you are never given an opportunity to say anything? Are
there times when you are in a group and as soon as you start to say something,
the one you are speaking to (or someone else) starts talking to another person
in the group? Did you feel that they were not interested in anything you had to
say? When others treat you this way it can damage your self-esteem. The
message to believers is, do not be rude to others, show respect, be courteous
and allow others to speak without interrupting them.