BIBLE PASSAGE:
“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.
Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also
is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole
person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
(James 3:5-6)
MEDITATION:
Have you ever started a day feeling great
and then someone said some unkind words to you?
It changed your mood and focus for the entire day, didn’t it?
You can feel as though you are walking on a cloud but someone can ask,
“Are you feeling okay? You look like you don’t feel very good.”
It disrupts your entire mood
and you begin to imagine reasons why you would look ill to others.
It can completely destroy the cheerfulness you had when you awoke that morning.
Has this ever happened to you: You are talking to someone and before
you have finished speaking, the other person starts talking over you?
How does that make you feel?
What does that say about the other person’s opinion
of what you have to say (and possibly you in general)?
Have you ever had an experience when you were talking to someone and he or
she walked away, or started talking to someone else while you were still speaking?
It is a rude and inconsiderate action, but what message does it convey?
It says that he or she is not interested in what you are saying,
and they do not have the patience, courtesy, and respect to listen anyway.
Often, if it is not about them, then they are uninterested in what you have to say.
Jesus was busy about God’s Work and had a limited time here
on earth to accomplish everything, but He was still attentive to others.
If Jesus took the time to hear what others had to say,
then we should patiently listen as well.
When we don’t, it is a sign of self-centeredness.
We may not think of ourselves in this way,
but our actions are a reflection of our heart and attitude.
As believers we should be sensitive and aware of how our misuse
of words can be discouraging and sometimes demoralizing to others.
Sometimes we can hurt others unintentionally,
but there are some who seem to do it maliciously with a desire to hurt others.
God expects us to lift the spirits of others, to encourage them,
to be kind to them, and to avoid the things that would hurt them.
That is not how God treats us,
so we should learn to treat others in a similar manner.
A ‘loose tongue’ can have a negative impact in many areas, including:
Devastating the lives of others.
Unkind and misplaced words can destroy the joy and happiness in others.
Disruption of God’s work.
Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong way, can destroy
the enthusiasm of one of His servants (ministers, missionaries, teachers, etc.).
Destruction of the world’s view of the church and/or Christians.
The inappropriate use of words can damage the perception others have of believers.
Like it or not, Christians are observed by others and when a lost person sees
us using words in the wrong manner, it can cause them to have no interest in
becoming a faithful follower of the Lord.
Tarnishing the reputations of others.
A few derogatory words can destroy the reputations of others.
We can use words as a way to manipulate the opinion people have of someone else.
This is why believers should avoid gossip like the plague.
Gossip is not a popular subject, but it is a popular activity.
Some people spend a lot of time talking about someone else,
often with the intention of injuring them in some way.
They either hurt the person’s reputation,
or they destroy friendships the person has built with others.
Unfortunately, believers can be just as guilty as non-believers in the area of gossip.
Gossip does not fit who we are as God’s children.
Whenever we destroy the reputation of someone, it can take a very long time
for them to regain their good standing in the eyes of others.
What we say is a reflection of what is in our heart.
David prayed (and it should be our prayer as well):
“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
(Psalm 19:14).
Breakdown in relationships.
If we do not use godly wisdom and filter what we say, we can destroy
a relationship with others by the things we say to their face, or to someone else.
In we are mad or frustrated, we would be well advised to avoid saying anything
to the other person, or anyone else, until we have gained control of our emotions.
Loss of self-esteem.
Similar to destroying reputations, we can damage a person’s self-esteem
by the things we say to them, or about them to others.
We all have areas of weakness and when someone highlights these areas,
we feel the pain and burden of our weakness even more.
As God’s children, we should be focused on what can elevate the
self-esteem of another person and not on the things which can tear it down.
We can actually injure our own self-esteem by
feeling the guilt of saying hurtful things to someone else.
Creating arguments.
The misuse of words can cause such bad feelings between two people
that they no longer speak to each other.
It can escalate to the point that the abusive words are intended to hurt.
Quite often it is a failure to admit and deal with our own faults
(we choose instead to always blame others for anything and everything).
Unfortunately, there are some people who seem to
entertain themselves by causing friction between others.
It is difficult to understand why someone
would enjoy doing this, but it seems they do.
Some have developed a reputation as this type of person
(and others know to avoid them).
Just to be sure we fully understand how dangerous
an uncontrolled tongue can be, James says it is ‘full of evil’.
He tells us that the source of this evil ‘rises up from hell itself’.
In essence James explains that when we fail to control our tongues,
we give Satan an opportunity to corrupt our lives, and damage the lives of others.
Sometimes an uncontrolled tongue can simply mean being rude,
such as interrupting others when they are trying to express themselves
(an indicator of not being a good listener).
Some will say they rudely interrupt because they are afraid they will forget
what they were going to say, if they wait for the other person to finish speaking.
The truth is, if they forget what they planned to say, God may be
preventing them from saying something that should be left unsaid.
ACTION:
How is your ‘word filter’ working?
Are you aware of how your words can impact the lives of others?
Do you exercise self-control when speaking to, or about others?
Are you focusing on the faults of others, or their good points?
Would others describe you as a kind and considerate encourager,
or would they say that you are a self-centered, inconsiderate discourager?
Think about your circle of friends – is it increasing or decreasing?
If it is shrinking, then apparently you have a problem, regardless of how
much you have convinced yourself that others have a problem, and you do not.
Are you a good listener, or do you talk more than you listen?
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
Do you spend more time talking about yourself
than you do listening to what others have to say?
Would you be glad for the Lord to hear the things you have to say?
Would you say the same things to Him that you say to others?
Jesus was busy, but still took the time to genuinely listen to the concerns of others.
He knew how to express love with His words,
and how to be kind and gentle to others.
That is what He expects from all who claim to be His followers
(whether we like it or not, a believers we are a reflection of the Lord,
so we should follow the pattern He established).
When we belong to God, He has given us an internal monitor
which triggers guilt whenever we are misusing our tongues.
And when guilt is ‘triggered’, we have a choice of either changing our
attitudes and habits, or continuing in the same non-productive rut we are in.
We should know that whenever we encourage and lift the spirits of others,
it increases our own self-esteem, and we feel better about ourselves and our lives.
Conversely, whenever our words are damaging to others, we damage ourselves,
which can cause us to develop a more pessimistic attitude about our own happiness.
Pray,
“Lord, I pray that my words will be pleasing to You, and to others.
I ask You to help me choose my words carefully so that I can lift the
spirits of others, and not damage them in any way. Help me to focus
on the good in others, rather than wasting time convincing myself
that what they do or say is intended to be malicious, especially since I
do not know their thoughts. When I do that, convict me that I am being
judgmental and Your Word tells me that since You are our judge, I am
usurping Your position with my thoughts and actions. Only You can
see the whole person and what is in their heart and mind, so You are the
only One qualified to judge. Forgive me for wrong thinking and wrong
words. Forgive me for any self-centeredness and selfishness in my life.
Going forward I ask You to mold me into an encourager, so that others
can see Your love through me.”
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