RESPONDING CORRECTLY TO THE HURTFUL COMMENTS FROM OTHERS

BIBLE PASSAGE:
“For it is God’s will that by doing good 
you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”  
(1 Peter 2:15)

MEDITATION:
We’ve all been there at times, haven’t we?
Someone says something to us that ‘pushes all our buttons’ at once.
When that happens we have several ways of reacting and our responses 
can be good and diffuse a situation, or bad and escalate the situation.

Harsh comments are unnecessary and benefit no one.
The Bible doesn’t provide any justification for hurling insults 
or derogatory comments toward another person (initially or in retaliation).
But this is the reality of the world we live in 
due to the absence of the Holy Spirit in the hearts of people.

When we’ve been hurt, we want to hurt back.
It seems that hurtful things are processed through the emotional part 
of our brains before the logical part has an opportunity to get involved. 
In order to give the logical portion of our brain time to process, we should 
wait for some time before responding to hurtful comments from others.

The question we have to ask ourselves is, 
“How would the Lord want me to respond?”
We need to allow scripture to permeate our brains and emotion before responding.
And of course, we should pray and ask the Lord to calm our emotions 
and guide us in responding in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Here are a few considerations for reacting to adversarial comments from others.

IS A REPLY NECESSARY?  
“For it is God’s will that by doing good 
you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” (1 Peter 2:15)  
Not every comment needs a reply; not every critic should be given an answer. 
Comments from others should not derail us but should serve as a reminder 
of how effectively we can use our time doing good things.
We need to be investing in goodness so that our actions 
will reveal a gentle heart that is under the control of the Holy Spirit.

A REACTION AND A REPLY ARE VASTLY DIFFERENT.  
“When they hurled their insults at Him (Jesus), He did not retaliate; 
when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted himself 
to Him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23)  
It’s hard to resist retaliation; 
we can feel justified in hurting the one who hurt us. 
But just because it feels right doesn’t mean it is right. 
 
When we pause, we can turn our initial harsh reaction into a gentle response.
Take some time to let our emotions cool off. 
Try to look at things from the other person’s perspective. 
Realize there is probably a lot more hurt going on in their heart 
than we’ll ever know (and chances are it has very little to do with us). 
We should wrap our response with kindness and leave the judging to God. 
God knows, God sees, and God honors those who honor Him.

HUMILITY CAN DEFUSE A POTENTIALLY BAD SITUATION.  
“For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have 
returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:25).  
Sometimes harsh comments from others gives us reason to step back 
and honestly decide if some of what’s being criticized is our fault. 
Rather than retaliating, focus on responding in a gentle manner. 
When we do, it doesn’t make them right, but it humbly acknowledges 
that we both need grace (from each other, and from God). 

ACTION:
Whenever someone says something that has the potential of destroying your 
day (or week), and causing you to lose sleep, train yourself to pause 
and process before responding, rather than lashing out with an 
emotionally-charged retaliation. 
Refuse to allow yourself to toss and turn during the night trying to 
figure out what you will say to them and what they will say back to you, etc.
Remember that when you have done this in the past, 
it seldom played out the way you thought it would.

Pray that God will calm your emotions, 
thank Him for His patience with you, and ask Him 
to give you guidance so you will respond in a way that is pleasing to Him.
If someone is trying to ‘jerk your chain’ and your respond emotionally,
then they were successful in their efforts.

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, help me to have patience with others in a similar 
fashion that You have patience with me. Teach me to focus on doing 
good and not on revenge and retaliation. Show me when and how I 
should respond, and when I should remain silent. Remind me that how 
I react to adverse situations is a testimony of the sincerity of my 
faith. Help me to realize that my goal in life is to please You and 
not to straighten out other people. You, not me, are their judge; my 
task is to show through my reactions that Your Spirit is living in me.”

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