MARRIAGE CONSIDERATIONS: 10 of 14

SURVEY QUESTIONS/ANSWERS (10 OF 14):
(non-scientific survey with unedited answers)

10. What suggestions would you give to two people who are thinking about getting married?

– Realize it’s for life; long-term and not just a long date.

– It’s not an easy commitment.

– Work out things before marrying (responsibilities, etc.).

– Develop and maintain good communications.

– Discuss your philosophies on raising children.

– Don’t ever think that just having kids will bring you closer together.

– Agree on financial matters (who is in charge of bank account, etc.).

– Don’t have kids too early (along with kids is a loss of some freedoms).

– Discuss what both of you expect of marriage.

– Be sure to allow each other some space.

– Don’t ever forget you are still individuals, but marriage is a partnership.

– Don’t marry who you hope the other person will become.

– Discuss with minister (they can reveal many blind spots).

– Develop a respect for each other before marrying.

– Realize you can do a splendid job of raising your children and they can still make some bad decisions.

– Discuss things like work, travel, moving to another city, etc. before marrying.

– Decide ahead of the marriage if one will sacrifice a career to raise your children.

– Discuss your beliefs before marriage; which church will you attend?

– Be open to change (expect it).

– Learn to forgive.

– Discuss interests, hobbies, sports, etc.; you will be spending your life together so you need to have some common ground.

– Realize that with children comes commitment.

– Look at how your future spouse’s parents treat each other;

   often these traits are passed to the next generation.

– Always remain faithful to each other (no matter how great of a temptation comes along…and they will).

– Plan on doing things together early in the marriage and as a family later when you have children.

– Think about how you want to be remembered by your spouse.

– Remember special occasions (think of your spouse’s expectations).

– Realize that a successful marriage is a job, it doesn’t just happen.

– You need to have an appreciation for each other.

– Be willing to try something new (especially if your spouse enjoys it).

– You will have to face blending with your extended family members.

– Know your strengths and weaknesses; discuss them before getting married.

– Be realistic; don’t be blinded by love, there will be some difficult times. (these times can either draw you closer or push you apart).

– Keep the lines of communications open.

– Learn to discuss issues instead of arguing about them.

– Learn to exercise self control and don’t yell at each other.

– Learn that love is an action and not a feeling; God doesn’t ask us to “feel”, He asks us to love; “feeling” love first is just lust. The world tends to view love as a feeling which leads to misconceptions and unrealistic expectations of marriage.

Don (Phil. 2:3 / Col. 3:17)

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