THE IMPORTANCE OF DEVOTED AND LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

BIBLE PASSAGE:
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
Honor one another above yourselves.
(Romans 12:10)

MEDITATION:
Do you have a loving, caring, and dependable friend? If so, then
you know how important it is to have someone who is devoted to
maintaining a friendship with you (and it’s your desire to maintain
your friendship with him or her). Whenever you are having a tough
time, he or she is the one you want to talk to about it.

When something good has happened to you, you look forward to
sharing it with your good friend. Other people might be jealous
and have no interest in hearing about how you’ve been blessed,
but you know you have a friend with whom you can freely share,
without any fear of him or her being uninterested or disrespectful.

It can happen, can’t it? You are excited about something good that
has happened to you or another person, and you want share the
good news with someone. If it’s about you, it’s not that you want to
brag, you just want someone to know how you have been blessed by
the Lord (it’s also a way of reminding us of the goodness of God).

However, when you tell some people, you can see by their look
or their body language, that they don’t want to hear about it;
in essence, they are throwing cold water on your excitement and
enthusiasm. They may even interrupt you in mid-sentence, talk
about something unrelated, or just walk away before you have
finished sharing the good news.

We all need to have a relationship with at least one caring friend
who we know we can discuss anything with, and they will listen
(and they know that we are the same type of friend to them)! It’s 
a special relationship that is not threatened by self-centeredness,
jealousy, condescension, arrogance, or rudeness.

The scriptures tell us this is the type of relationship we should have
with other believers. We need to love each other like brothers and
sisters. We need to be devoted to a type of relationship which will
assure each of us that we care about each other and we are ready
to listen to anything either of us wants to share.

It means that we enjoy each other and we don’t have any hidden agendas,
and neither of us will use our confidential conversations to fuel gossip or
anything else that would jeopardize our special friendships. We know by
the content of the conversation that it should not be shared with others,
even if they don’t tell us to keep it between the two of us.

Sometimes people within a church body will ‘shoot their wounded’.
In other words, whenever someone has a weakness, or strays from
righteousness, there are some who will terminate their relationship
with them, and they ‘write them off’ as friends.

That’s not what Jesus taught us, is it? Is that how God treats us?
Of course not! In Hebrews we are told,
    “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”.
    (Hebrews 13:5)
That sounds like a sincere devotion and commitment, doesn’t it?
God doesn’t give up on us, and we should not be guilty of giving
up on others.

In Galatians we are instructed to,
    Carry each other’s burdens, and in this
    way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
    (Galatians 6:2)

We all have flaws and extra baggage that has the potential of
jeopardizing our relationships with others. If we expect to have
healthy friendships, we need to have mutual respect for each
other, and know that some of our faults might surface at any
time.

Obviously, we have no control of the hearts and minds of others,
but we can certainly look introspectively at our own hearts and
make whatever changes that are necessary for nurturing healthy
relationships with others.

Paul tells us how to develop and maintain a devoted and loving
relationship. We do it by honoring others above ourselves. In
other words, we consider their needs more important than our
own.

Does that mean our own needs are not important? No, it means
that although we have our own challenges, we are willing to listen
to them and their concerns. When others want to share anything
good or bad in their lives, we will have an interest in what they
want to tell us and we won’t be rude, but we will respectfully
and cordially listen to them.

Even if it is something that is not particularly interesting to us,
we will patiently listen, because we know it is important to them.
It is therapeutic for them when they can discuss their concerns
with a cherished friend they trust. The scriptures cite examples
where Jesus took the time to listen to individuals even though
He was busy doing what God wanted.

Our special friends value our friendship and they feel comfortable
sharing some of their needs, or blessings with us. Why? Because
they know we love them, that we care about them, that we know
how they trust us, and that we will patiently and respectfully listen
to them.

One way for us to practice listening more is to ask others to tell
us what’s going on in their lives, before we ‘swamp’ them with
what is going on in our own life. When we listen, it assures our
friend that we are humble, gentle, and are sincerely interested
in them.

During our conversation, there will be ample opportunities for us
to share our good times and life challenges as well. And when we
do, our good friends will also listen and have a genuine interest in
what we want to share with them. The love of Christ in our hearts
is the ‘key’ to developing and maintaining healthy relationships.

When God saves us, it means we will be changed. Our thinking
will be different as our minds are renewed. Instead of being only
consumers of love, we will have a desire to show love. No longer
will we wait for others to show love and concern for us before we
show love for them in return. We understand the importance of
initiating expressions of love and one of the best ways we can do
that is to let others know we are praying for them.
    Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
    but be transformed by the renewing of your
    mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
    what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect
    will.
    (Romans 12:2)

Paul must have felt that a relationship of this type with other believers
is extremely important, since he said something similar in his letter to
the Philippians.
    Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
    Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
    not looking to your own interests but each of you
    to the interests of the others.
    (Philippians 2:3-4)

As we can see, in Philippians Paul connects ‘humility’ with a genuine
concern for others. When we are humble, we will be less selfish and
have a sincere interest in the lives of others, instead of thinking only
about ourselves. We understand the importance of listening to others
more than dominating conversations with my own needs and concerns.

As believers, we have a responsibility to please God by harmonizing
our relationships with other believers. Of course, the acid test for
Christian men and women is to evaluate how we live in the home.

It is much easier to live an excellent life among our friends, than
it is to live for Christ at home. When we are away from home, we
can put our best foot forward and briefly show more consideration
for others, but our own family knows whether Jesus truly lives in
and through us.

Our family knows if we give in to bad temper, impatience, fault-finding,
condescension, unkindness, suspicion, selfishness, or laziness. They also
know if the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, and all other
Christian virtues) can be seen in our daily life.

ACTION:
Questions to consider:
    – How has my life (habits, attitudes, etc.) changed after God saved me?
    – Has my mind been renewed, and if so, what confirms it has changed?
    – Do other believers consider me
       a sincere friend who shows brotherly love?
    – Do I nourish my relationships with other believers through
       my fellowship with them, and do I listen to them?
    – How often do I contact other believers just to see how
       they are doing and to let them know I am praying for them?
    – What would my family say about me?
           Would they say that I am controlled by some bad natural
           tendencies, or would they say that the fruits of the Spirit
           can be seen in me?
    – What does God think about me and the way I interact with others?
    – What would God say about how much I value my friendship with Him?

The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
(Proverbs 12:26)

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
(Proverbs 17:17)

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
(Proverbs 18:24)

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.
(Proverbs 27:6)

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the
pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
(Proverbs 27:9)

Pray,
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your care and concern
for me. Thank You for showing me genuine love even
though I disappoint You. Your fellowship means so much
to me and I want to understand the importance of having
the same type of relationship with other believers. Forgive
me if I have been selfish and self-centered in my relationships
with others. Teach me to humbly put the needs and concerns
of others ahead of my own. Show me how to be a devoted and
loving friend to others, including my own family. I pray that
I will live so close to You that Your love will easily flow from
You, through me, to others.”

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