PARENTING – FULFILLING NEEDS

“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them,
I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock.”
Matthew 7:24

Why do children love their parents?
It’s not because their parents are necessarily better looking or kinder than anyone else.
Children love their parents because children have needs and parents meet those needs.
It could be referred to as a “need” love.

Do you know why couples have children?
Quite often it is because they have a need to receive “need” love.
In simpler terms, they have a need to be needed.
And that is a God-given need.

The little baby has “need” love and the parents have a “need to be needed” love.
That’s the reason there is such a wonderful bond right away.
But sooner or later, a child grows out of that “need” love.
There comes a natural time when the child does not need the parent
like he or she formerly did.
And it’s the job of parents to help their children be able to stand alone.
To the degree that parents can do that, they are successful.

Parents need to remember that they should not try to hold their children too tight.
When they do, the children will pop out of their hands like a wet bar of soap.
When that happens, the children can make some bad choices.

Too many parents fail to give their children a chance to fail.
Some parents want the children to “watch them” do things
rather than allowing them the opportunity to try for themselves.
This is a poor teaching method that is counter-productive
to what the parent wants their children to learn.
Not allowing children to “try” can also result in children making bad choices.
The parent is commuicating that they have no confidence in the ability of the child.
As a result, the child has trouble growing into adulthood,
and can turn to any number of bad habits in order to escape the feelings of inferiority.

When parents teach them to stand alone,
they’ll come back and be the best friends the parents have ever had.
Parents should work themselves out of a job, and when they do,
they don’t by default work themselves out of a relationship.